I'm extremely sad..
I MISS YOU, I never thought that I'd say it before you do..
You killed every single little hope in me, in you, in this..
There's no THIS anymore, just a big fat nothing that I believed it's gonna be someting at someday with somehow! It came with no reason to me, I thought it was fate, I did everything that I had to do and not do to please you and make you happy. But, it wasn't enough for you, I'm not enought for you or anything I do..
How can I get through this? How can I move on? I don't know. I'm weak, blank and for the first time I'm HEARTBROKEN. How can I survive this? I don't like what I'm doing and what I did for you. I went so far, so far that I could imagine, like this I don't believe that I'm going to publish this. But why a blog for, then?
I can't stop thinking about you. It's a full time job, unpaid, that I'm doing it unconsciously and involuntary. I wish there's a recycle bin in our brains so I can just click delete!
GOD HELP ME! to vanish it, to delete it, to suffocate it.. whatever I need to get rid of everything that reminds me of him. Oh God, I can't believe that actually EVERYTHING reminds me of him, that place because we went out there and that other place where you went out there with your friends and told me about it and every other place that I wished we go there together..
I hate that I am a daydreamer, that I make big deals of no deals.
I hate my mobile, because of our long talks and our msgs.
I hate that I become so soft and weak, because of you.
I hate my work, because it began when I went there.
I hate my cat, because we both are pet persons.
I hate my blog, because it's all about you.
And I hate that I had faith in you and you disappointed me.
I just hate my life without you.
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