Displaced

I'm extremely sad..
I MISS YOU, I never thought that I'd say it before you do..
You killed every single little hope in me, in you, in this..

There's no THIS anymore, just a big fat nothing that I believed it's gonna be someting at someday with somehow! It came with no reason to me, I thought it was fate, I did everything that I had to do and not do to please you and make you happy. But, it wasn't enough for you, I'm not enought for you or anything I do..

How can I get through this? How can I move on? I don't know. I'm weak, blank and for the first time I'm HEARTBROKEN. How can I survive this? I don't like what I'm doing and what I did for you. I went so far, so far that I could imagine, like this I don't believe that I'm going to publish this. But why a blog for, then?

I can't stop thinking about you. It's a full time job, unpaid, that I'm doing it unconsciously and involuntary. I wish there's a recycle bin in our brains so I can just click delete!

GOD HELP ME! to vanish it, to delete it, to suffocate it.. whatever I need to get rid of everything that reminds me of him. Oh God, I can't believe that actually EVERYTHING reminds me of him, that place because we went out there and that other place where you went out there with your friends and told me about it and every other place that I wished we go there together..

I hate that I am a daydreamer, that I make big deals of no deals.
I hate my mobile, because of our long talks and our msgs.
I hate that I become so soft and weak, because of you.
I hate my work, because it began when I went there.
I hate my cat, because we both are pet persons.
I hate my blog, because it's all about you.
And I hate that I had faith in you and you disappointed me.
I just hate my life without you.

La Fatigue

لست بكل هذا التعقد التي سوف أكتبه في هذة المدونة او علي الأقل لست أنا سبب هذا التعقد المعقد الملتف حول نفسه بشدة, بالعكس أحاول بكل ما لدي و ما ليس لي , لأتمكن من حل الأحاجي و الألغاز, تركيب القطع بجانب بعضها البعض لتكتمل الصور أمامي, أحزر أرقام, أحل معادلات , ارسم أشكال و رسومات , أتتبع النجوم و لا شيء في النهاية.. دوائر مطلقة.. لا فرق بين كيف بدأنا و كيف إنتهينا. .

لم يزعم أحد أنها مهمة سهلة و لم يجرؤ أحد ايضا علي الإعتراف أنها ستكون بهذة الصعوبة,

أصبحت الأن معلقة بين التناقضات, ما أريده و ما يجب فعله, كم انا هشة و كم يجب ان اتصنع القوة,

متعبة لا أقدر علي الحراك, لقد إستنفذت كل ما لدي من قوة, ذهنيا و بدنيا

.. أنا فعلا متعبة..

و لا أشعر بالفشل و لكن أشعر فقط بالتعب..

Kapéla

Kapéla:" means standing on opposite sides of the river."

Every portrait that is painted with feeling,

is a portrait of the Artist,

not of the Sitter.

Clem

Clementine: Where are you taking me, Joel?

Joel: I donno, I'm just trying to take you to somewhere special.

Cementine: I'm tired of running, leave my hand, you are hurting me..
Joel: Hold on, we are almost there..

Clementine: Where? Joel, I'm leaving..
Joel: No, dont leave, believe me, we are close..

Clementine: I don't believe you, Joel.. we are running in circles since you took me.. we never get to the point.. I'm tired.. I believed your bullshit many times before.. all you do is talking and I can't take your actions anymore.. it's better to be honest with yourself and me.. don't you really want to keep me, do you?